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Cinzia said that the image we had of ourselves, who we think we are, is held as a crystalline structure in our bodies & that whilst it remained there, brittle & rigid, it would be hard for us to change

Vanda Scaravelli in Awakening The Spine,
“Be careful, very careful about organizations. Yoga cannot be organized, must not be organized. Organizations kill work. Love is everywhere, in every thing, is everything. But if you confine it, enclose it in a box or in a definite place, it disappears. Truth, like love, cannot be demonstrated, or explained, or offered, it is there with all its immensity around us filling all space. One has only to look. And to be aware.”

She has told me not to have people staying with me for any length of time any more (she’s not the 1st) – I have a disposition/CNS that needs solitude & time to potter & regenerate, it would seem. Within an hour of being alone this morning, the mental constipation/frozen brain fog/cerebral ennui ceased & the creative floodgates opened with gusto – focus, clarity & sass were mine again. Funny how that works.

‘The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed‘

Albert Einstein

my heart is open
to all positive possibilities
my head is open to change
my feet are free to walk
anywhere they choose
my mouth to taste that
which pleases it
I am a vessel of pure love
and as such have no fear

Jont

Free of Words

Sometimes I feel as though I have no words to express what is happening to me: the freedom I feel from the old patterns and behaviors that used to make me "me." I used to think I'd arrived in myself, knew who I was, was dealing. Now I feel that there is so much more possibility for growth, change, healing and love than I had ever known. It seems that as soon as I learn one thing I trip over another and another, and my mind/world/self-concept are being blown. To pieces. And I'm so grateful for it.

But it's not something I can fully conceptualize yet. I don't know what that means. That I'm not processing it completely yet? That I don't want to jump out of the stream of experience to attempt recording / journalling, since in the past this modality, for me, was closely associated with control, with keeping hold of experiences that were by nature transitory and beautiful.

I'm going with that feeling, letting go of guilt for not writing, not journaling. I haven't been able to write since last February, even less since my trip to Thailand in September, and those times are the most vivid I can recall. More to the point, I can recall. It's not disappearing on me like events prior to that. I don't have the blow-by-blow that does, inevitably, crystallize experience - "so then I said...and she said..." but it is recollection of experience.

But I will record some momentous words as they occur in my life.

Here's one set: I knew from an early age that a ‘Barrett Home’ life would never suit me – I just didn’t realise this is where I would be lead.. - Suki Zoe at the fabulous Qito is really rocking my world lately

"A spiritual feeling is warm, grounded, secure, loving, and one retains interest in things around them. It is not "spacy" like the light mental feeling of fruit; instead it is blissful."

Tom Billings