So almost two years have come and gone, and the journey that was starting with my last post is now winding up in some way; the surrender of all I believed, all the thoughts that defined me within, and all I hoped for -- it's found a footing now, that permits ongoing surrender, and it's found a reason where before I just gave in to "whatever You are out there."

What was out there was not just nature, deeper than I'd ever known, or kindness and community and yoga practitioners who get up at 5 am to chant to the Divine. What was out there was not just adventure and travel and love and heartbreak.

Instead I was ready to leave my whole life and all self-definitions behind, and tried and tried and TRIED to do so by all means possible... until at last the great Beloved heard my prayers, and Grace came in to finish what I never could.

In comes joy of a kind that somehow wells up through cracks in my being like spring water seeping up through the moss. Comes meaning, comes community.

After nearly 28 years home found me.